We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
