I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
