I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
