Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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