Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
