I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sext me about skeletons
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
