He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
