apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
