i barfeds in our rink
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
