if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just googled if crying burns calories
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
