who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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