Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The air taste purple.
Randomize
