Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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