Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I deserve this hangover.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
