That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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