We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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