Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
