Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
