you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
