Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
cat food counts as protein by the way
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
