Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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