You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
it was like eating out sand paper
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Randomize
