Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
