We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
