it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
