I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
