never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
