I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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