Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
