We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
