At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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