He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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