So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
