it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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