if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
