Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
