ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
this will be a night to untag.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
