are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
