I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
