I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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