so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
