i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
