He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
