evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
