Non-Jews are for practice
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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