I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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