there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
