First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
it's like iHOP with fire
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
