sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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