He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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