don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
