lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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